Author Archive

Fifty Shades of Grey.

https://i2.wp.com/4.bp.blogspot.com/-LeHo5-nABZc/T_EHwrFfWqI/AAAAAAAABvw/WDWdSkUCCwk/s640/50shades.jpg

That book that everybody was talking about, yeah, I caved into curiosity.  So I go to my local Kroger and buy a copy.  I always get a high when I buy a new book, “A new adventure with interesting people to read about awaits”, I tell myself with every book I buy.  I did it for the Hunger Games, and that couldn’t have been any truer.  I hope Fifty Shades doesn’t disappoint.  So I open the book and start reading.  The font is very promising, gives the book a very crisp look.

Ok, enough of talking in present tense.  I’m about 400 pages into the book, so you can tell that it has me hooked.  Reading about Anastasia and Christian is very interesting, and not just for the BDSM-charged atmosphere between them.  Although, I do have a hangup with Anastasia (so really, the author): she uses the same words and phrases OVER and OVER again.  “Holy shit/crap/cow“, “Jeez“, “Oh God”, “Crap/Double crap”, and a lot more examples that I don’t feel like listing.  Seriously, she tosses those phrases around like verbal fruit cake, come up with something different please.  And my hangup with Christian is that he refers to Anastasia as just that almost all the time, while everybody else just calls her “Ana”.  Christian, I don’t know how sophisticated and enigmatic you feel, but you’re in bed fucking a girl, can you please drop all your formality and just shorten her name to Ana?  It makes you look like a creep (well, creep is a pretty accurate term to describe him once you learn more about him by reading the book).

But all in all, I love the book and will read the entire trilogy, and I can’t wait for the movie to come out!

I Want Some Camo Shorts Really Badly. I Wonder Which Ones I Should Get…

I love pool-tables. In fact, they have a special place in my heart. :)

http://www.toxel.com/inspiration/2009/04/12/15-unusual-and-creative-pool-tables/

Found A Girl That’s Ready For Work!

So I’m at the water park enjoying the warm, crisp sun and of course, the water. I was swimming for a little bit (boy isn’t it cold for that first fraction of a second when you jump in that pool?). At one point, I took a dip from the diving pool, did a front flip, and landed on my face…..HARRRRD! Never again. Some kid told me my eyes were bleeding. I went and checked, but they were just really red. But still, as soon as I saw them, I wanted to directly slap my brain for doing something so stupid. So I wait till my eyes get better….

*Half an hour later*

I go back out and decide to just bask out in the sun…..and look at girls! I see lots of tigers, and out of nowhere, this really-attractive-eyebrowed-girl comes comes up. I’m like “Damnnnn, her eyebrows look too perfect!”. So, I keep staring. Eventually she jumps in the pool with her friends and I’m like “Wet girls are sexier than dry girls”, so I jump back in the pool! Enduring that half-second of cold and shivers, I find the girl I’ve been eyeing, and proceed to eye her even more! She’s caught me in the act a few times, and I’m kind of timid, so I break eye contact. And then out of nowhere, here she comes right towards me playing in the water, and she “accidentally” splashes water on me. She said “Oh I’m so sorry, I really am”, and I say “You’re fine”. I start swimming, and by coincidence I end up right in front of the girl when I resurface, and I heard her say something like “Oh my god he looks like….”, I didn’t know what came after that. I swim underwater again, and ONCE AGAIN, I resurface right beside HER!!! And THIS TIME, I caught a side-glance of her eyeing ME!! I’m like “THIS GIRL’S INTO ME!! HELL YEAH!!”

Being the lazy-ass I am, I go back to sitting on my lawn chair and chill. After some time, the girl and her friends are passing by me and SHE GIVES ME A WAVE!! I wimpingly wave back but I’m like “YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!”.

Now, still the flop that I am, stage the surpassable act of leaving the place. I’m about to reach the exit, and just as I (evil laugh) planned, she comes up and asks for my phone number! I was so excited! So we exchanged names and numbers. “My name’s Brandon”, I say. “I’m Layla”, she says. And I leave. My heart was full of happiness. I know I’m a guy, but I’m not afraid to express my feelings!

That was about 3 weeks to a month ago, and we’re still texting and getting to know each other better. And we’re about to go on a date, and we’re gonna hold hands! And (coming from a young guy) the best gift she could give me is that she’s HORNY AS HELL!! I swear, she’s the horniest girlfriend I’ve had so far, and I seriously think she’ll make me lose my virginity (I still have it :p. I keep telling myself what would happen to me and is it worth 6 seconds of intense satisfaction?). But we have so much chemistry I might consider losing it! I’m being serious when I say that it’s as easy to talk about sex and horniness with her as it is talking about school (yeah, we’re that hung >.>)! Problem is, she’s told me she’s had sex with another guy before, so I’m cautious if she has an STD.

First date with her is this Saturday!

I’m Thinking About Disowning My Cat After I’ve Read This.

http://www.cracked.com/article/226_6-adorable-cat-behaviors-with-shockingly-evil-explanations/

Hell, my cat TRIED leaving shit on my floor once.  If he ever does that again, I’ll be like “Game on, Bitch.  I’m about to shit in your litter box and not cover it up.”

Hell yeah I’m a dog guy after reading this.

Me And Hamburgers Go Way Back

This will be a quick post, as it is as pointless as the MTV Music Awards :p.

Today, I was at the library, and I pick up a book about hamburgers. I read through it a bit, looking at the irresistible matter that is hamburgers, and find my stomach begging for one.

As soon as I get home, what do ya know? Mom’s cooking hamburgers!!!!!!!!! I felt like a genie was stalking me without me knowing. Now if only I could look at Larosa’s pizza and have the same thing happen :/.

Dusting Off My Guitar!

So roughly, 3 weeks ago, I picked up my guitar that was always lonely in the corner of my room, and just started to play it. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, I just razzle-dazzled. And I actually got a good feeling off of doing it. I bought it in my sophomore year of highschool (I’m a senior now), and I began playing it for like 2 weeks, but I was going nowhere, so I just decided to quit for a while. Now more than a year later…..it’s time to stroke some strings again!

You know those burning issues when you first start playing guitar? Like your finger tips hurting, how to strum correctly, getting your fretting fingers to not touch other strings, and tuning your guitar? They’ve all gotten to me, and boy did I want to just quit right there. But I was like “No, not again”. So I just kept playing.

Eventually, I discovered that you develop calluses on your fingertips the more you play guitar, and they help to ease the pain when you press down on the strings by a ton, or outright eliminate it. My ”guitar-fingers” are roughly 3 weeks old now, and I’m pretty sure I’m starting to get calluses, which is a definite plus!

I found a site called ”ultimateguitar.com” and I’ve been getting lessons and tips there ever since. It’s a really great help. I’ve also gotten the help of the all-famous and powerful Youtube, and I’ve looked up a lot of keys, chords, songs and such. I’ve come across some really great guitar artists and bands like: Meghan Tonjes (I love her now :p), Woody Mann (Man, that guy’s arpeggios go unbeaten), Guns n Roses, etc. I love that there are other amateur guitarists out there like me.

Getting the chords down was hard at first, but now I can remember a good chunk of them by heart. E major/minor, A major/minor, D major/minor, G major, and C major are the chords I’ve gotten down so far. Now I’m practicing switching between them as quick as I can so I can put together some songs.

All hail my aunt for getting me a guitar book, and thus a very good source of beginner lessons!

Some day, I will be making my own original songs! One step at a time.